Hope

It was a year ago today, we met you for the very first time. Your foster family brought you over to meet Daddy and I. We sent the other kiddos to the pool with Nan because we just wanted some one on one time and to allow ourselves the space to process that you could be our forever daughter. I was in love with you before I ever even met you, and Daddy knew you were special as soon as he laid eyes on you. I will never forget how incredibly alert you were. You didn’t miss a thing. Your amazing foster mom showed us how to work your special needs bottles and I even had a chance to feed you. We soaked in every precious minute we got to share with you that day. All of my fears and anxiety surrounding our capabilities to take care of all your cleft needs disappeared that day. Don’t worry, those fears and anxieties creeped back in a few days later. I knew you were nothing short of a love note sent directly to us from God. My eyes still well up with tears just thinking about how incredibly blessed we are to have you in our lives. YOU are the definition of a miracle. I was so nervous your foster mom wouldn’t like us. All I could think about was how much I loved you already, and I was terrified the adoption would fall through. This was uncharted waters for us. Not one time in all of our years fostering did we ever meet a child knowing they were already legally freed for adoption. It was a little unnerving to dive right in calling you ours. The first time I attended a doctors appointment with you and your foster mom, she referred to me as mom and she doesn’t know it, but it took everything I had not to break out in tears right then and there. I… was your…Mom. After we met you, we were ready to start the process. We spoke to the other children about you and they were all very eager to meet you as well, but it wasn’t time just yet. The 4th of July was the very next day and we worked tirelessly to create your nickname “Hope” out of sparklers. We took pictures to have as a keepsake… I tested your Daddy’s patience that night because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. I knew that one day this was going to be a core memory for our entire family. The 3rd of July is forever engrained in my memory. I can’t wait to remind you how special this day is to me, every year for the rest of my life.