Hope.
This past week, I attended a memorial service hosted by S.C.A.N. of Iredell county. It was a service to remember all the children who lost their lives to child abuse and neglect in 2017 in the state of North Carolina. I have attended this same event in the past and every time, I leave there feeling extremely emotional, overwhelmed and completely helpless. I will never understand how a parent can hurt their child. I will never be ok with the fact that children die at the hands of their parents. I can not fathom why there aren’t more people there to show their support for the prevention of child abuse and to remember the innocent children who lost their lives. There were quite a few people there, don’t get me wrong, but there should be standing room only. I have been told that in the past people felt the service was too sad and did not want to attend future services because it was too hard for them. This may not sit well with some of you, but I say, this should make people uncomfortable. It is not acceptable that on average 4-7 children die everyday in the U.S. as a result of child abuse and neglect. Child abuse is preventable.
Lets for a minute put ourselves in the shoes of the innocent babies who were killed by their parents. There were 25 children ranging in age from 4 days old, yes, you read that right, 4 days old to 18 years old, all that died last year in North Carolina alone. At the memorial, they rang a bell and read each child’s name, age and cause of death. Yes, this was gut wrenching, yes, it made me cry. Yes, it made me angry, but it also made me want to fight twice as hard to protect these innocent children.
Any one of those children, could have been my babies. Let that sink in for a moment. Have you met my children? Do you love my children? It could have been them. I am thankful that DSS got to my babies before that happened, but the fact of the matter is, it was only God’s grace that kept my babies alive. One more beating, one more day without food and water, one more rage, it could have been them. None of those 25 angels asked for this. None of them deserved this. Why as a community are we not all more passionate about this cause? Why are we not all outraged at the statistics? Why are there not more people attending this memorial service to say to these babies, “you mattered, your lives mattered and you are loved.”
Why are there commercials on tv about the abuse and neglect of pets, but not children? I have had numerous people tell me they like my shirt. You know, the ones that say “Foster, Love, Adopt, Repeat”. It is almost always followed by “Do you foster dogs?” Why is this the first thing that pops in people’s minds? We, as a country have worked tirelessly to raise awareness for animal rights, why aren’t we doing more for children’s rights? I think people are content believing that child abuse isn’t happening in their neighborhoods. I don’t think people realize that child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, within all religions, across all levels of education and in all cities and states. There are children in your neighborhood, in your classroom, in your child’s classroom, and at your church that are being abused and neglected right now. It has been our mission for the last 7 years to raise awareness.
While I was sitting in the dimly lit church with narrow pews, holding a candle, praying for the lives this world has already lost, I could feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I looked down and saw the front cover of the bulletin and it read “Hope: A child’s wish” There is hope. In this foster care journey, I have met some amazing people. People who are just as passionate as I am about keeping children safe. I know that the needs are overwhelming. They can be discouraging and make us feel helpless. Thankfully, every day when I look at my children, I am reminded that there is hope. My children have hope for a bright future. My children are going to break the vicious cycle of abuse. My children are the epitome of hope. There is hope in the darkness. Everybody can do something to stop the senseless act of child abuse.
It can be as simple as offering a smile, lending a hand to a struggling family, putting your phone down and engaging with those around you. Get to know people in your community. Volunteer. Mentor a child. The list goes on and on.
