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Adoption equals loss…
So, I know the blog has been quiet for some time now. Our family has had a lot going on. We’ve suffered quite a few losses in the last few months. I apologize now for the heaviness of this post. My father-in-law, our “Zadie”, Bruce passed away just shy of three months ago. He was only 67 years old and was taken from us way too soon. He had been misdiagnosed for over a year and as it turns out, he had ALS. Bruce and his wife Karen were scheduled to come to NC to celebrate Eli and Gabe’s adoption, just two weeks after he suddenly passed. What should have…
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An open letter to my children’s Birth Mother…
Dear Birth Mom, I saw you sitting in the court room, knee nervously shaking, and fingers tapping, as you waited for the judge to call yours and your children’s names. I saw you feverishly looking around, hoping to get a glimpse of your attorney. We were both apprehensive, as we smiled and hesitantly waved at each other. I could feel your nervous energy as your attorney called you out of the court room to discuss your “case”. I saw the tears welling up in your eyes when you came walking back into the court room. The look of disbelief, the sheer panic, because you had just come to the realization…
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Be Supportive
So you’re having a baby? Congratulations! That’s so exciting! Onesies and presents galore. Of course there will be a baby shower to celebrate and welcome this precious gift. Maybe even multiple showers… you know, one at work, and one with your closest girlfriends and family. Then when the baby arrives, a meal train will begin. You will have so much food you won’t know what to do with it all. Not to mention the family and friends that will come visit and offer their helping hands. Having a baby is, and should be a very exciting time. You should be showered with love, excitement and presents. This is not meant…
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Mama and Dada
Mama and Dada….These are two very special names. Some parents wait a very long time to have a little one finally call them Mommy and Daddy. These words represent the two people in this world that are suppose to love and care for you unconditionally. The two people whose goal in life should be to keep you safe. Now imagine you were 19 months old and not only did you have your birth mother and father but you also had not one, not two but three foster mother and fathers in a span of 6 months. Those two special names I mentioned earlier may start to lose their value. They…
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The Call . . .
It was my 30th birthday. We had spent the day relaxing, shopping and enjoying our family time. My phone rang around 3:30 in the afternoon. I answered, assuming it was my social worker calling to set up her monthly visit. “Hey Alyse. We are looking for an emergency placement for a little boy.” My heart started racing. I knew I had to refrain from blurting out “YES! Yes!! We will take him” I calmly said “ok, is he just coming into care?” I waited for a response, even though no matter what the answer was, it wasn’t going to change my burning desire to blurt out “when will he be…
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Guarded Hearts
Very shortly after our first placement arrived, we were head over heels. We picked up these two beautiful, blonde headed, blue eyed little girls. We were in charge of their well being. We fed them, clothed them, tucked them in at night. We had decided prior to accepting any placements that we would introduce ourselves as Alyse and Jeremy. So needless to say, we were shocked that immediately we were “mommy and daddy.” I had dreamt of being a mom since I was a little girl. In our hearts, they were ours. It was easy to forget the truth. Legally, they were not ours. They were in foster care. They had…
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Visit Days
Oh how this ordinary bag brings back a flood of emotions and memories. Not just for me, but for my children as well. It’s actually tucked away, out of sight, in hopes of avoiding a trigger. For some of my children visit days were filled with joy, junk food and playing. For some, it was days filled with disappointment and for others they were pure torture. Jeremy and I always try to show the positives of foster care. Rarely do we talk about the struggles that can accompany. Visit days just seemed appropriate to talk about today. It’s not something that’s discussed enough. For those of you that are unaware.…
