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Breaking the cycle
Breaking the cycle.Have you heard this phrase before? Have you ever sat and pondered what this actually means? In the foster care world we hear this a lot. Child abuse and neglect are often vicious cycles that tend to repeat themselves. We have children who are beaten and told they are worthless everyday of their life. This kind of trauma doesn’t exactly create level headed, confident teens and adults. Obviously, some abused children grow up and are determined not to let their past dictate their future. These individuals are few and far between. The amount of drive and desire this takes is truly admirable. Unfortunately, not everyone is that strong.…
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Trauma doesn’t take a vacation.
It’s 11pm. I should be in bed unwinding, maybe watching a little tv, or reading a book. Instead I’m walking around the hotel grounds, because vacations are a trigger. Since the folks in the hotel room next to us don’t understand trauma. Since slamming doors and screaming “Don’t touch me” are not acceptable things to do in a hotel room, we walk. We walk around aimlessly, in the cold, wearing our pajamas. I didn’t have time to look for my shoes, so I quickly slipped on my husbands sneakers and I could only coerce my child into flip flops without an additional melt down. You see I don’t even know…
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Things I wish every teacher knew.
The beginning of the school year is an exciting time for so many. Children are excited to see their old friends, meet their new teachers and make new friends. This is true for most children but when children have experienced trauma they tend to handle stressors differently than most. I know for my children, even though they are excited about the new school supplies and seeing their friends, their anxiety has been through the roof. They tend to act out, they are extra fidgety and are lacking self-control. They keep asking the same questions over and over. I am dreading the thought of new teachers, who don’t know their history,…
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Foster Parents… Take care of yourself and your marriage.
I am going to preface this post with saying, don’t worry, Jeremy and I are wonderful. I love that man more with every single day that passes. He is not perfect, I am far from perfect, but together, we make a pretty awesome team. We balance each other out. We lean on each other and support each other. When I say that he is my pillar, I mean it with every ounce of my being. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that Jeremy and I don’t argue. This doesn’t mean that we never disagree. There are days that marriage is hard, days that life is hard, but there…
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Adoption equals loss…
So, I know the blog has been quiet for some time now. Our family has had a lot going on. We’ve suffered quite a few losses in the last few months. I apologize now for the heaviness of this post. My father-in-law, our “Zadie”, Bruce passed away just shy of three months ago. He was only 67 years old and was taken from us way too soon. He had been misdiagnosed for over a year and as it turns out, he had ALS. Bruce and his wife Karen were scheduled to come to NC to celebrate Eli and Gabe’s adoption, just two weeks after he suddenly passed. What should have…
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An open letter to my children’s Birth Mother…
Dear Birth Mom, I saw you sitting in the court room, knee nervously shaking, and fingers tapping, as you waited for the judge to call yours and your children’s names. I saw you feverishly looking around, hoping to get a glimpse of your attorney. We were both apprehensive, as we smiled and hesitantly waved at each other. I could feel your nervous energy as your attorney called you out of the court room to discuss your “case”. I saw the tears welling up in your eyes when you came walking back into the court room. The look of disbelief, the sheer panic, because you had just come to the realization…
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Be Supportive
So you’re having a baby? Congratulations! That’s so exciting! Onesies and presents galore. Of course there will be a baby shower to celebrate and welcome this precious gift. Maybe even multiple showers… you know, one at work, and one with your closest girlfriends and family. Then when the baby arrives, a meal train will begin. You will have so much food you won’t know what to do with it all. Not to mention the family and friends that will come visit and offer their helping hands. Having a baby is, and should be a very exciting time. You should be showered with love, excitement and presents. This is not meant…
