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Hope
It was a year ago today, we met you for the very first time. Your foster family brought you over to meet Daddy and I. We sent the other kiddos to the pool with Nan because we just wanted some one on one time and to allow ourselves the space to process that you could be our forever daughter. I was in love with you before I ever even met you, and Daddy knew you were special as soon as he laid eyes on you. I will never forget how incredibly alert you were. You didn’t miss a thing. Your amazing foster mom showed us how to work your special…
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Skipping Mother’s Day
Well it’s the night before Mother’s Day and if I could just sleep through tomorrow that would be wonderful. Not for reasons you are probably thinking. It’s not because I’m physically exhausted. It’s not because I’ve been homeschooling 8 children for last few months. It’s because of the pain that tomorrow will bring. I wish that we could just blink our eyes and this particular day would be behind us. Mother’s Day is such a painful reminder for so many. I am incredibly blessed to be a mama to some amazing kiddos. Every day feels like Mother’s Day to me. I often just wonder how I got to be so…
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Trauma doesn’t take a vacation.
It’s 11pm. I should be in bed unwinding, maybe watching a little tv, or reading a book. Instead I’m walking around the hotel grounds, because vacations are a trigger. Since the folks in the hotel room next to us don’t understand trauma. Since slamming doors and screaming “Don’t touch me” are not acceptable things to do in a hotel room, we walk. We walk around aimlessly, in the cold, wearing our pajamas. I didn’t have time to look for my shoes, so I quickly slipped on my husbands sneakers and I could only coerce my child into flip flops without an additional melt down. You see I don’t even know…
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An open letter to my children’s Birth Mother…
Dear Birth Mom, I saw you sitting in the court room, knee nervously shaking, and fingers tapping, as you waited for the judge to call yours and your children’s names. I saw you feverishly looking around, hoping to get a glimpse of your attorney. We were both apprehensive, as we smiled and hesitantly waved at each other. I could feel your nervous energy as your attorney called you out of the court room to discuss your “case”. I saw the tears welling up in your eyes when you came walking back into the court room. The look of disbelief, the sheer panic, because you had just come to the realization…
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Be Supportive
So you’re having a baby? Congratulations! That’s so exciting! Onesies and presents galore. Of course there will be a baby shower to celebrate and welcome this precious gift. Maybe even multiple showers… you know, one at work, and one with your closest girlfriends and family. Then when the baby arrives, a meal train will begin. You will have so much food you won’t know what to do with it all. Not to mention the family and friends that will come visit and offer their helping hands. Having a baby is, and should be a very exciting time. You should be showered with love, excitement and presents. This is not meant…
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Mama and Dada
Mama and Dada….These are two very special names. Some parents wait a very long time to have a little one finally call them Mommy and Daddy. These words represent the two people in this world that are suppose to love and care for you unconditionally. The two people whose goal in life should be to keep you safe. Now imagine you were 19 months old and not only did you have your birth mother and father but you also had not one, not two but three foster mother and fathers in a span of 6 months. Those two special names I mentioned earlier may start to lose their value. They…
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Guarded Hearts
Very shortly after our first placement arrived, we were head over heels. We picked up these two beautiful, blonde headed, blue eyed little girls. We were in charge of their well being. We fed them, clothed them, tucked them in at night. We had decided prior to accepting any placements that we would introduce ourselves as Alyse and Jeremy. So needless to say, we were shocked that immediately we were “mommy and daddy.” I had dreamt of being a mom since I was a little girl. In our hearts, they were ours. It was easy to forget the truth. Legally, they were not ours. They were in foster care. They had…
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I’m “THAT” Mom!
Yup! I’m “THAT” mom. You all know “THAT” mom. The one who is always late. The one whose wardrobe only consists of t-shirts, jeans and flip flops. Im the one whose car always has goldfish, pretzels, and who knows what else ground into the carpet. I’m the one who missed the three emails from the teacher reminding us not to send in candy with the class Valentine’s Day cards (due to food allergies). So after addressing all of my three year olds Valentine’s for his friends, which was indeed candy, I scrounged together Valentine sticker sheets we could use instead. I’m the mom that signed up to bring Valentine’s Day…
